Confessions of an OFW

People that know my sister almost always think of her as still a gradeschool student. Of course I can't really blame them, given her cute figure and friendly attitude. My sister and I are very different from each other, apart from the obvious: I'm dark-skinned and she's light-skinned, I have straight hair and she has curly hair, I'm very outdoorsy and she usually stays at home, I love getting down and dirty and she is obsessed with being clean, I like math and she likes debate, and most importantly, I am inclined to living at the rural outskirts of the Philippines, while she has always had dreams of living abroad - and she actually did.

Julia is my only sister. We don't have the most perfect relationship, but I love her more than anything in the world. I still remember the day she told us she had high chances of working at Singapore, after having a hard time applying to companies in Manila. At that time I didn't know what to feel - I wanted to be happy for her but at the same time I was so sad thinking about what would happen to her, my baby sister, the only one I had. Why? Why would she even think of doing that? She was such a baby at the time, so innocent, sheltered, and unaware. In that short span of time, I was waiting for her to cave, to say "I don't think I can do this, I won't go anymore" because I honestly thought she couldn't. I doubted her and judged her decision as naive and childish.

It's amazing how much her experience has forced her to grow up and become wise beyond her years. Her strength has amazed me. I can't even imagine going through what she does - she works at the store everyday from 10am-10pm (to clean, fix up, sell, handle the cash register, count inventory, etc.), with only one day off every week. She has inspired me to strive to be as courageous and independent as she is. Ironically, I find myself looking up to her instead of the other way around, though she is 4 years younger than me. Below are some of the reasons why.

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Here are some questions that I've asked her to answer, as well as her usual posts on Instagram that constantly surprise me:

1. Why did you choose to take your job?

For experience. Independence. To grow up. Adulthood. To improve my communicating skills as I like interacting with people on different levels with interesting topics and solutions. To learn how to better handle different sorts of human beings, learn more about behaviors, and different cultures and languages. It's plus points to have experience with sales so that in the future you know how to run your own business and be able to advise others as well.

2. What's the hardest part about leaving your country?

Attachment. It was my first time ever to leave the country alone for a long period of time, aside from visiting the United States for school in 2014 where I stayed with relatives. They are everywhere in the US so I didn't feel as homesick, and I had places to stay there and keep me company. This time in Singapore, I decided to accept the opportunity to grow on my own to be independent, to know how to provide for myself (and my future family, if ever I will have someday), and to do some self-actualization. I have realized a lot of life lessons in the past and now am still currently learning in this stage of my life now - that you only have yourself to really help you and discipline yourself, while all the others that surround you, like your family and friends, are there to support you and your goals, to advise you, and to be a shoulder to cry on. I have always believed and known that I can carry on on my own and aspired to be an inspiration to others.

3. What do you miss most about the Philippines?

I always miss my family, my friends, and the food that you can't find here in Singapore. There are more diverse choices there in the Philippines than here in SG.

4. What don't you miss?

It's quite dismaying to compare the Philippines to other countries; to admit that if I had a choice, I'd rather not live through the horrible traffic jam, pollution, filthy environment, and inconvenient, unreliable or chaotic and unsafe public transportation in the Philippines. In SG the bus stations have specific locations only and have an accurate estimate on arrival according to their schedules. There is also an application to check for the updates. Another on my list is corruption and poverty. As much as I want to help in improving the lives of others too and to have a better system for everyone, it would take several years to learn more about other ways to do it significantly. It would be great to have any convenient and outstanding changes around Manila and other parts of the Philippines. But for now, the least we can do is to "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Don't get me wrong, I left my heart in the Philippines. It's still my first love no matter what. So let's all be united and stand strong together, be of assistance to others, albeit in another foreign land.

5. What is your greatest challenge at work? As an OFW?

People think that it is easy to be an OFW but it actually takes a lot of courage, perseverance and sacrifice to survive, with all the challenges that you face throughout your whole journey. People think that people choose to be an OFW only because of how much you earn, but for me it's all for the experience in exploring the world around you. Because the experience consists of learning how to be independent, funding yourself (and family if you need to), and doing everything on your own, like laundry, preparing food, and finding an affordable and comfortable place to live. The good side is being able to purchase things and food that you were not able to before you had a job abroad. You get to save more especially if you are stingy or better word for it is practical, with the choices you make in spending. One of the greatest challenges is battling homesickness. You only really have yourself. If there's anyone to help you, in the end you still make the final decisions, take care of yourself and do everything for yourself to survive. Yes you can share but never forget about your importance, value, and worth. Love yourself. As for my job, [the greatest challenge is] being able to do all the work as an in-charge of the store even when you are really exhausted already. Also, managing different types of people, such as very nice people vs people who complain a lot vs those who just can't be contented so they'd have to make a scene and give you a hard time. You have to keep going and not give up, you can't always rely on others. 'Cause again, you are the only one who can really motivate yourself. It's the power of the mind that can change your perspectives in life, and taking challenges as life lessons and transforming you into a stronger and wiser individual. Always be ready for any changes and anything that you will be faced with. Fly high.

6. How do you battle against homesickness? Keeping yourself busy. Going out with friends. Communicating with family and friends abroad. Crying. It's okay to cry. Taking vitamins. Exploring SG. Talking to friends. Sleeping. Listening to music. Praying. Going to mass. Being in silence. Staying positive. Setting your mind straight to... Your goals, ambitions and dreams. Everything will be fine. Stars can't shine without darkness. Writing up my emotions and feelings to express how I feel and know that I'm not alone. Others support me for my creative writing as they feel the same sentiments and are one with me too. Talking to God about your problems. He's the only one who can really help you. But you have to help yourself too.

7. What are you looking forward to most when you get back?

Catching up with family, friends, and eating the food that is not found or is not authentic in Singapore, especially my dad's excellent recipes, the food that he knows how to cook so well, also my mom's baking skills who makes the best pastries ever, and same with my sister. As for me, I think I've got the talent too, I just gotta start soon on my own and learn from them. 8. What is your message to fellow OFWs? Just take it slow. You'll get used to it. There's nothing to worry about. You are the only one who can really take care of yourself unless you are staying with family there. No one is like you so never compare yourself to others. It's the experiences that count the most if you are an independent individual. Money can't buy happiness. Just be contented and keep on believing in yourself most especially in times of despair when you feel like giving up 'cause the gravity of the world seems to be weighing down on you. That is when you are becoming stronger and wiser because you're able to make better decisions, lessons that you learn from and not regret, and you get more in control of your emotions towards yourself and others. Don't be too hard on yourself. Take it slow, you'll get to where you're destined to be. Dreams do come true so make it happen and live in the moment. No regrets. You've made it here, you can make it anywhere. Anything is possible, with God especially.

Our family has been through a lot in the past and I'm more than happy and proud to watch Julia grow into such an independent mature woman, with such kindness and generosity in her heart. I have not been the perfect Ate to her and this post is my dedication, to show her how thankful I am to have her there, especially as I myself am learning and looking up to her through my own journey <3 Thank you Julia!

This post's INSPIRATION is on: being independent, going out of your comfort zone, and going for your dreams!

#spirituality #prayer #travel #womenempowerment #goingbeyondyourcomfortzone #singapore #ofw #retail